The Church of Love, and the Delicate Balance of Life

I have spent the morning crying on my couch. Sobbing. Why, you ask?  Because for the first time in my life, I just witnessed death.  I saw the life flow out of a living, breathing thing, right before my very eyes. A bird flew into my window, and broke its neck.  I heard the loud thump, then went out to see what happened.  I watched as the poor thing started to gasp for air.  It was tense, and in visible pain.  Then I saw its legs just relax.  The life literally poured out of him. I was taken aback.  I felt the most intense emotion welling up in me. Just watching the whole thing occur, I was overcome.  I was inundated with sadness. The bird's life was over.  Never again would it fly with the sunshine on its wings. It just seemed so, lifeless. So sad. Then a wave of "business mode" set in.  I had to take care of this.  I had to dispose of him. I didn't want my daughter to know about it, because why make her sad when she doesn't need to be. So, I pulled myself together, found a little box, picked up the poor lifeless soul, and placed him in.  The bird had blood coming from its beak.  It made my stomach drop.  Life is just so fragile.  So fragile.  I walked out behind my house.  I knew I had to get it out in the woods a bit, so there wasn't just a dead bird in my yard. Then I looked at my compost pile.  I decided to put it near that. I don't really know why I did, it was just far enough from the house, I suppose. Then I thought to myself, as I placed the freshly made earth over him, that it was life that brought him into this world, and it was a compost pile, a recycling of life that he will end it in. It seemed so symbiotic.  So full-circle. Then I looked around and I noticed the world around me.  It was so full of life. I decided that even though one life ended, there was so much life to celebrate.  Carpe diem.  I recalled a quote from my favorite poet, Rumi.

"Do not grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form."

 Rumi


I sat there with my feet on the leaves and dirt, and just had a moment.  I thought "I should say a prayer or something".  Then I realized, I'm really not a very religious person.  I believe in spirituality, but I feel like it's something that is so personalized. It's really different for everyone. What is spiritual for me, might not be for another person.  All I knew is I wanted to do something for this bird.  So I looked up, and I just "sent" the bird my love.  I believe in the power of emotion. I believe that the heart and soul is my religion. Love, is my religion. The Beatles said it right when they said, "All you need is love". I thoroughly agree. I feel if you have love in your heart, and if you feel love for others in this world, than you are truly blessed.

Who knew I could learn so much from a bird? I've decided that birds have become an important part of my life.  The connection I have with the Phoenix, the angry bird, this bird, my daughter's affection for birds...it's all connected.  They seem to be teaching me many lessons in life.  Ones that I will carry with me, for the rest of my days.