The angry bird and the cycle of misery.

For the last day and a half, I've been observing the birds outside at my feeders.  Other than the increase of cardinals I've had recently, (which makes me really happy, I love cardinals. ) things have been pretty normal.  Happy little chickadees, quiet little sparrows, even the occasional raid by a stray chipmunk or two.  However, yesterday, I made an observation that provoked some serious thought. There was a good size, very nondescript, brown bird out there.  My daughter and I decided to call it, the "angry bird", because he wouldn't stop chirping loudly at the other birds.  He was aggressive, confrontational, and just seemed to be generally pissed off at the whole bird world.  A little sparrow would simply fly up to the feeder for a little snack, and this bird would chirp loudly with a wide open mouth, non-stop. He would even fly up there and lock beaks with some of the birds eating.  It was almost like he was unwilling to share the seed with other birds.  Thing is, he wasn't eating the seed either.  It was like he was saying, "well, I'm not getting any, so I'm going to make it impossible and miserable for those who can."  And this bird was fearless too. I'd try to shoo him and his bad vibes away, but he would just look at me, as though he was saying " you can flap your arms at me all you want lady, but I ain't movin."  It's like he was just purposely sticking around to make everyone miserable.  Then I observed the other birds around him.  The normally sweet, quiet sparrows had started to fight over seed.  They were chirping loudly at each other in an angry, aggressive manner.  It's like, it was catching.  The bird had successfully brought a boatload of bad vibes to my feeders.  Now, I like to think I gave angry bird the benefit of the doubt.  I looked around to see if there was a nest he was defending or something.  Nothing. He was just a downright, miserable, angry bird.

So I started to really think about it.  I thought of the other birds, and how they were influenced by one angry bird.  I decided that what was occurring with the birds, is sort of parallel to how humans behave as well.  Say someone's having a really bad day.  They are stressed, miserable, and difficult to be around.  When we encounter a person like that, we are faced with a subconscious decision. We can go the easy route, and let that person rub off on us.  We can let the misery overtake us as well, just as the birds were doing.  OR, we can take the more difficult route.  We can see that the person is suffering inside, and instead of continuing the vicious cycle of misery, we can stop the cycle.  We can offer kindness and love to these people.  One of the most respected Zen masters, poet and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh, has inspired this thinking in me.  One of my favorite passages by him reads:


"When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That's the message he is sending." 
— Thich Nhat Hanh


I think the angry bird was suffering.  I stopped shooing him away.  I thought, I wish I could help this bird.  I wish I could do something to help this bird's spirit.  I still am befuddled by how I could help him, so I'm still sort of working on that.  However, what I CAN do, is focus on how I can help those people in my life whose spirit is suffering as well. I can understand that they sometimes need to vent their suffering.  I can treat them with compassion instead of angst.  I can break the cycle of misery, and perhaps start a whole new cycle of good will. I've found that not only are negative thoughts contagious, but positive thoughts are as well. Why not start something good, rather than carry on the bad? Pay it forward, or so to speak.

I have a challenge for you. Try it out for just ONE day.  Here's the challenge:  Try to smile at everyone you see as you walk down the street.  I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised at the results.

This is just one of the ways I'm trying to better my life. I hope that by sharing my story and philosophies, that perhaps, just maybe....I've succeeded in starting a new positive cycle.